Once upon a time, virginity was a big thing, and it is still a big thing in many cultures and religions. Well, I am not here to argue whether or not virginity is a big deal. However, if chastity, complete celibacy and purity is the goal, then we need to reexamine if virginity is the means to an end or an end itself.
May I start with mentioning 3 of the most common form of virginity out there (so you, dear teen and single may know which one you are):
1. Primary Virgins (people who have never kissed, smooched, grinded, fondled or have any form of sexual intercourse, too);
2. Technical Virgins (people who are involved in other forms of sexual activities except vagina penetrative sex (by a penis));
3. Secondary Virgins (people who have chosen celibacy, having been sexually active before the solemn vow).
Virginity lost its essence when we spent our energy preaching against premarital sex (coitus) rather than advocating for sexual purity and wholeness. Consequently, we raised a bunch of folks who concluded that the sin of fornication was when the penis entered the vagina. Some extended it to mean when the penis enters the vagina and the male ejaculates (most especially inside the vagina).
There are folks involved in anal sex, and oral sex, but preserving their “virginity” by saying no to vagina penetration. Like I said earlier on, my goal is not to define virginity. However, if sexual purity and wholeness is the goal, then virginity is not a means to an end or the end itself. Virginity for teens and singles becomes a segment of the fruit; just a segment of the citrus.
For Christians, there is no where you are instructed, admonished or encouraged to be a virgin (who really cares?). The rule has always remained that you flee youthful lust, sexual immorality and say no to sin. If you understand these rules, you will realise that it is the same exact sexual purity and sanctity rules that are given to teenagers that is also given to older adults and married folks. It is the same sexual purity level that is required of a teen that is also required of a married person (no difference).
Just in case you are grading your sexual purity and holiness based on a penis and vagina rating, you have just been scamming yourself, deceiving yourself; no one ever used that yardstick (except your Sunday School teacher who only knew in part).
The goal was never virginity but sexual purity. When you get this, you will understand that a person can be a full blown adulterer, fornicator and pervert without the penis or vagina getting involved.
© Earl Alright