Please help out a brother man I want to stop masturbating.

Hello Good morning Jodel. Please keep me anonymous. I started dating my first girlfriend at shs 1. It started as a joke, she was always like my husband my husband, n even tho I was crushing on someone else she got my attention. So one day she was eating n she told me to feed her n when I was feeding her I kissed her and she didn’t pull back n that was when the dating started. Back then she told  me she already had 2 boyfriends so I don’t even know how I fell for her. Every time we met we kissed, at some point I realized she loved me as much I loved her. At one time we were kissing n she took my dick out and started to suck it, the truth is I didn’t like it because I felt her teeth around my dick. She later on introduced hand job and anytime she did I cummed. I became addicted to that. So one day I told her to do it and she told me to do it myself I guess that was when the love was fading away. So I did it myself and since then I have been masturbating and I can’t stop even tho sometimes I try harder. I have been masturbating for like over 4 years n I can’t tell anyone cos I have trust issues. I’m scared  to have sex anytime I get into a relationship cos I feel I might disgrace my self. Mostly I masturbate with porn. I can delete the porn videos but still when the urge comes I download them again. Please help