I’m thinking of proposing again but I feel she’ll say no again😢😪

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I met this girl years back and we became friends . We fell in love with each other and started doing couple stuff. However I proposed and she bounced me 2years ago. Nothing changed our friendship. She’s not dating too. We speak everyday and she tells me everything. I love her dearly and for like 3years now I meet and bounce girls because of her. Infact our dates and pics makes our friends think she’s my girlfriend. I’m even shy because when they find out it will be like I was deceiving them.I’m not that handsome but girls just have this attraction for me lol. I thought staying for a while will change her mind but it’s been two years now since she said no and our conversation recently showed she’s not interested in giving me a chance. What I don’t understand is why she likes me,calls and text me like her boyfriend and shows me love without accepting to date me. I’m thinking of proposing again but I feel she’ll say no again. I’m scared and I don’t want to loose her cause I feel she’s my rib. I could get a girlfriend today but I just won’t treat them right ,I’m a shy guy too and trust me it will take me years before I can express my feelings to someone I even like.I just can’t do it. But with her it’s different.She’s a dbee too I’m not a dbee but I’m very ok. We’re both students. She explained she said no first because she didn’t officially break up with her ex. After that her ex never came into the picture again so he’s not the problem. I just don’t understand her. Please What should I do ?
I’ll be reading your comments. Please be concise

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